Wonder of wonders, I have been given a job with the Toronto Police Service! Sadly though, it’s NOT as a shower/dressing room inspector, but in the Employee Records department. Damn! 
Also mildy off-putting is the fact that it’s a department with four menopausal women, and one man my father’s age. So much for meeting new people at the new job, I guess. 
Ah well. The way it works is: I’m on a 6-month contract. At the end of 6 months, either I will be offered a renewal on my job, a new position somewhere else in the Service or I will “not be renewed”. I guess it depends on how desperate they are for people (I’m filling in for someone who’s off in another department for the next couple of months), and what kind of job I do. It sounds like it will be interesting, at the very least… and I don’t have to wear a uniform! YAY! Now I just have to work out how to get the hot cops I see to frisk me… Hmmm. Maybe I’ll take to not wearing my staff pass, and skulking around the lobby, looking shifty.
So, I have a kidney infection. Yup. Do you know anyone that’s had a kidney infection? Likely not. That’s because they’re not all that common (most people opt for the much-more-common Urinary Tract Infection – but not me! Oh no, I had to take it to the LIMIT, because I’m hardcore like that… pffft). I’m likely also the only person you know that broke her tailbone falling down a staircase she grew up with, at the age of 23. I told you, I’m hardcore like that. Either way, my kidneys are hurting.
I went to the medical clinic in Newmarket and had to sit there for approximately two hours. Then I got the pleasure of peeing in a cup (the only time I wish I was a boy, with the ability to “aim the stream”), which the Doctor then dipped a strip into – thereby determining that I have a bladder infection. Of course, though, he had to figure out why my side and back hurt during my… ‘trips to the bathroom’ (sorry, there’s no way to have that phrase not be kind of gross). So, he decided to “test” my kidneys, which is apparently doctor code for “get my aggressions out on a sick person”, because the “test” was comprised of a fair amount of abuse! Grrr…
The first “test” involved the doctor standing behind me and squeezing my side as hard as possible – which almost made me fall over. The second “test” actually involved the doctor PUNCHING me in the frickin’ KIDNEY! No joke! He “demonstrated” the punch on the back of my shoulder first, so I wouldn’t be surprised, then proceeded to pummel my injured organs! I tell you, that first punch nearly floored me. The second punch made me want to punch him back and see how HE liked it… Grrr. Anyway, it was determined that I have a kidney infection AND a bladder infection, and he wrote me a prescription (that ended up costing $40 for 14 frickin’ pills! Christ! If it had been much more, I would have had to sell one of my infected – and now, bruised – kidneys, just to afford the drugs!).
So, the MS Walk was today. It was SO much fun! So much of my family showed up that it was really just a family party on the move (and with considerably less alcohol, sadly 
)… my cousins and I kept saying how nice it was of the MS Society to have this little reunion for us. What I found funniest was that they had cheerleaders stationed all along the walk route, waving pom-poms and yelling at us about how great we were doing, and there were people that lived along the route that came out to see us walking and waved at us. It was almost like being in a parade (would that make my father the clown?)!
As with every family get-together, there were memorable moments…
- Erin showing up so hungover that people were accusing her of still being drunk and smelling like vodka (she & my sister were supposed to run the 10km this year, but I think they were both not-so-secretly happy that the other wasn’t feeling up to it – Erin was hungover and Dana’s got a cold
). - Playing Baby-Hot-Potato with our 6-week-old cousin, Brody, during the walk (he would cry if we put him in the stroller, so he was held through the whole walk, by one family member or another… of course, we were all fighting over who got to carry him).
- Realizing that we’d put the wrong name on our “I’m walking for…” signs – half of us put my cousin’s first name and her maiden name, rather than her married name. When I tried to point out that there’s just no leaving our family (therefore making the use of her maiden name just as correct), her husband stopped me with, “That’s NOT what it says on the marriage certificate!” I tried to explain to him that it’s sweet that he’s attached to his family name, but in reality, he’s been assimilated by OUR family, and there’s really no escape (and really, he’s lucky he didn’t have to take OUR name! ). He told me that I made it sound like our family was The Borg, but took off before I could tell him YES, that’s right! And, that resistance was futile. (Just kidding, Steven! You know we love you AND your name! Especially my Mom – you Scots have to stick together in this Irish family!)
After the walkers all started trickling back in, they started awarding prizes. We won for most money raised for last year’s walk (although Leah seems pretty confident that we’ll blow the $10,000 goal this year – I guess we’ll find out in a couple weeks, when they’ve counted all the money they collected today at the walk), and when Leah went to pick up the award, a lady that was sitting at the table beside me asked me what kind of organization “Maisie’s Maidens” was. When I told her that it was a team of 32 people, comprised of family and friends, she was fairly impressed. I’m telling you – this family does nothing halfway. All or nothing, baby! We’re hardcore like that!
